Understanding Love Languages
It’s no secret that the key to a lasting relationship is communication. But it’s not always just about replying texts and listening to your sweetie tell you about their day. That’s where The 5 Love Languages come in.
Essentially, love languages are just ways we express and perceive love. But understanding these differences could drastically change the way you view your relationships and yourself! To help you become a better communicator (and partner), I’ve rounded up some insight on the different love languages, and how we can use them in our relationships!
(P.S. If you don’t already know what your love language is, there are many quizzes online that’ll help you figure it out.)
What The 5 Love Languages Mean
Words of Affirmation
Some say the pen is mightier than the sword, and that’s because words are powerful tools to convey anger, joy and especially love. People with this as their primary love language prefer verbal expressions of love such as compliments and positive affirmations.
You don’t have to wait for your partner to be around to say a good word. Leave little notes for them to find, or just drop a simple text to let them know you’re thinking of them. It’s also especially important to communicate effectively when you’re having disagreements. Avoid throwing harsh words around and instead, address the issue as objectively. Just remember, if positive words make a big difference, negative ones do too.
Acts of Service
People who have this as their primary love language are more concerned with what you do rather than what you say. They love it when their partner expresses attentiveness by going out of their way to lighten their load!
Small actions may seem trivial, but a little goes a long way. These acts show that you’ve paid attention to their needs, and care enough to take the time and effort to help ease their burden.
Surprise your partner by helping them do their laundry or pamper them with a nice breakfast in bed. Also, if you see your partner stressed out with work or personal problems, offer a helping hand or a listening ear.
A gift isn’t just a gift to people who speak this love language. To know what to give someone, you’ll have to pay attention to their likes, dislikes, and sometimes even predict their future needs. It’s this attention to detail that’s really appreciated by those who communicate with this love language.
You don’t have to break the bank with your gifts, and sometimes getting expensive presents that lack thought and meaning could end up working against you. Instead, spend the time observing and talking to your partner. This’ll allow you to pick up on your partner’s needs and emotions, and help you find a gift that’s more useful, meaningful, and possibly affordable!
This is simply the act of giving someone your undivided attention. It’s not just about spending time with each other but it’s how you spend that time; the emphasis is on the quality, not the quantity. That means, switching off the TV, storing the phones away, and really being present in body and mind.
We don’t all have the time or the money to go on a getaway with our loved ones, and that’s okay. Keep things simple by allocating a set time to put away any distractions so you can have some quality time together. Of course, you should come to an agreement with your partner on the timeframe, but if it’s presenting a challenge, you could start with just one hour of distraction-free time.
Physical touch has a risqué connotation attached to it but people forget that innocent acts of touch between partners can strengthen a relationship. People who speak this love language prefer to receive affection and affirmation through acts of touch such as a pat on the back or a comforting hand on the shoulder
Small gestures like holding hands and giving hugs can often seem so minor that we forget about the positive effect it has on others. Hugs have the power to trigger a release of oxytocin (the love hormone) in the body, reducing stress and even improving your heart health and blood pressure. So don’t wait for your loved ones to feel stressed or upset, just go over to them and give them a warm hug.
Using Love Languages to Improve Your Relationships
Understanding the love languages and its role in helping people express their affection differently can help minimise fights between you and your partner (or anyone really).
For example, your love language could be quality time while your partner’s language could be acts of service. While this could mean your partner might not spend as much time with you as you’d like, he may offer to help out whenever you’re in need instead.
Knowing this is his way of expressing care and concern would help you move past something that could seem like a lack of care or commitment, and help the both of you appreciate each other for your strengths.
The key is stepping away from your own expectations and perspectives, and viewing things from your partner’s standpoint so you can both meet each other in the middle! Don’t forget, love languages shouldn’t be limited to romantic relationships. You can use it to improve your relationships with your friends, family and even your co-workers!
I hope you’ve gained some insight on building stronger and more communicative relationships with love languages. And while of course, a relationship requires effort, it’s important you’re both on the same page and doing this together!